there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
40s are totally the cure
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