Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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