eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
