She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
