it hurts more in the daytime
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
