I want to make a zoo with you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
