I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
