..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
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