so explain again why im purple
no
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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