...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
