are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
