there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
