dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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