i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
