Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My ass is underappreciated
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
