How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
