Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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