Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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