she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
