i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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