i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
