No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
