So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
