tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Farmville is her only friend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
