your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
