I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
