Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we made out on top of his cat.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
