he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
