tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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