I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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