haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
