yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He felt like a one man threesome
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
