I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
