Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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