Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I currently don't understand fingers.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
