Ambien. No doubt about it.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
