Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
