There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
