Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
