Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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