I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
