ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
