Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
