So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
