Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
