i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
