oh god the rape fog is back!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
