Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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