My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
