Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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